I kept saying to myself, "how much crazier can my Life get?" But I've stopped doing it now, I've kind of realised that it's the wrong way to look at things. Never the less, that was pretty much my motto for the past few years, or so.
Yesterday, I found myself when wondering around various art exhibitions. I was intrigued by one in particular called Hinterland. It reflected the merging of modern day cultures with that of ancient ones, such as witchcraft.
I particularly liked the pages on the wall recounting botany, Images of drawings of plants, Like they'd been pages of a journal, irrationally torn out of a book and stuck on the wall, so that they could be studied closer, A manic mystic study of the forest.
I don't often see exhibitions like that, ones that move me, in a way it's hard to recall, but I had to sit there for a while. It was strange, I felt like finally maybe I'm not alone, other people actually see it too, the way this world is just a mismatch of blended identities, lost in smoke and mirrors- and somewhere in that psychedelic art world, I got lost in that pensive thought.
I have seen so many peoples lives crumble around me, mental health issues escalate, addictions surge and have felt the sting of isolation that I know others feel too. I guess my life is included, but I only really realised that, when I started to connect with my mystical inner-self and started to study lost cultures.
If creatives choose to capture difficult moments and share them with others, then they choose to showcase their animosity and experiences of life. Usually, I find artists are such sensitive souls, I’ll always admire the way they make the best out of the worst thoughts. How can you make something so ugly, look so visually pleasing?
It’s strange to think that the most beautiful artworks have come from such saddened souls, or have sprung from the darkest of places. A lot like the images of fungi that the gallery had exhibited on the walls.
When I was younger I was convinced that my creativity came from my sadness, so much so, I used to go out actively looking for some trouble to get myself into.
At least that’s what I told myself.
In reality, I think it would be fair to say that I’ve dealt with some unhealthy trauma and developed a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms in the process to deal with it.
I’m not going to deny that I’m experimental. I believe that life should look like a kaleidoscope. Why shouldn’t you try every experience? I suppose I put this into my music.
My album taster called ‘Space Alchemy’ is available to listen to on SoundCloud.
Still, recently I haven’t been myself. But I mean is it any wonder in this crazy time we’re living in? Probably not, but as a creative, I suppose I usually thrive in this kind of time and recently I haven’t been. My ability to get creative came to a sudden halt and I blame the modern world for that.
I felt worn out, isolated, anxious and got intoxicated as a result. My mind began racing all the time, It all came like a bolt out of the blue. One day I was holding the pieces of my life together, the next bam! Here I am in psychedelic art world.
Am I cut off from the world, just as the world seems to be opening up again? have I shut down emotionally to protect myself? and I am feeling numb, or at least I was. That exhibition I saw yesterday, opened my third eye for the first time in a while.
I suppose I'm slowly dragging myself up from a sea of confusion from the latest set of life events. I’m not in despair exactly, most of the time I feel happy, just not emotional and I should be. Today though that emotion is coming back to me in small phases, like shimmering shadows.
It’s funny to think of this but I’m in a state of flux. Everything around me has changed like some psychedelic trip. I think I've fallen down the rabbit hole and who knows where I will end up?
I can only presume that when I wake I'll be in a creative state of imagination with the ever-changing world around me. I really do feel like I’m living in a psychedelic art world sometimes.
Or, have I just gone within for some healthy introspection? A reminder for myself, I must do some shadow-work, or go phishing, something to that description.
Here in the psychedelic art world.
At some point, I got lost,
I drank a lot of whiskeys on the rocks,
I became a space alchemist,
A non-conformist healer,
Caught up with a dopamine dealer,
A supersonic dope singer,
I became a wandering spirit,
And one day, I won’t be here,
I’ll be lost in hypersonic visions,
and multicoloured prisms.
Eternity might be lost
But paradise is not.