there is an underworld to the Internet, one hidden behind smoke and mirrors and I’d be foolish to go on any longer and pretend that I don’t see it. The internet has an underworld and sometimes I feel like a rag doll caught in the ethernet cables.
I suppose you could say that I ask for it, my nature is to be an exhibitionist. I post Instagram content modelling underwear so I can understand, by the law of attraction that I get back what I put out. You are a magnet after all.
I don’t mind the flirting, or the cheeky messages, in fact, I quite enjoy them. I think with the rise of feminism we’ve kind of lost that era of flirt-iness, I always try to emulate cheeky pin-up gal vibes in my content for this reason. I like the energy.
Plus everybody is too scared to say anything in real life in case they offend someone, so the internet has become somewhere we can express feminine and masculine energy, without the idea of binning stereotypes being thrust upon us.
For that reason, I love the Internet, although it’s being frequently monitored more and more these days, and with the ever more progressive rise of cancel culture it’s only a matter of time until we lose its boundless freedom. Still, the internet, for the most part, is free. It represents the last space we have for our freedom of thought, creative possibilities and an open forum for our opinions.
So for that reason, my mind was conflicted about writing this. I’m not going to deny that my personality is too much for some people to handle. I guess that’s why I decided to go for it on the internet.
I also know that people give influencers a hard time. There’s almost a culture around that too. So to step out into the unknown and put myself out there made me a target for people to fire at.
Again, I don’t mind that either. I’m happy to be a target, it’s just part of the job, the only reason I did it in the first place was to get people to read my writing. So what do I mean, when I’m talking about "the underworld of the Internet?"
Well, I’m talking about the seedy stuff. The stuff I’ve been skating over because I’ve been so focused on the light.
But the underworld is there and so I thought I’d focus on what I’m not talking about. Now I could be graphic, and describe things I’ve been sent, but I don’t believe in shaming people.
Besides, that’s their business. Mainly these days, I just don’t DM people. They’re much less likely to do it if you state you only comment on your profile openly- and that it’s all public.
I’ve also been the curious cat and died a few times opening private messages, so generally as a rule of thumb, I just don’t do it anymore. It’s there, but I ignore it.
But what I am beginning to notice is a rise in ‘the sugar daddy’ trend. After downloading a brand new social media app (I won’t name it) I thought amazing, a new platform to promote my trash.
On the surface, I love it, and I’m not going to deny that a new platform to promote my content isn’t useful. I’m gaining followers like hotcakes so I really don’t want to complain too much.
However, there is an Underworld to it. This week alone I’ve been asked four times if I’d like to be someone’s ‘sugar baby’ in exchange for gifts and money, with the promise of ‘no nudes or sexual activities.’
I realise that I am lucky, as I’m in my thirties now, (I suspect they probably think I’m a little younger), I am wise enough to know bullshit when I see it. However, it strikes me as alarming. Is this a new trend? I get that some women make a living off this- and I’m not shaming them either.
If you choose to go down that path, that is ultimately your decision and path to walk and who am I to criticise? But, I’m not a member of only fans, I’m merely a small content creator. Yet suddenly, I am being inundated with ‘sugar daddy’ requests.
I feel they are aware of times of financial hardship globally right now, I can understand how someone who is struggling financially could get sucked into the underworld. Or somebody not so wise and young to the world could get led into a world they don’t understand.
All it would take is a curious response to a ‘sugar daddy’ sliding into your DM’s and bam! You could end up on the other side.
I feel like there is a dark presence stretching out its hand to me, beckoning me, tempting me to step into the darkness, and my curious side is utterly intrigued. Not because I want to be someone’s ‘sugar baby’, but simply because it feels like there is a portal opening up to me.
Like with everything in life, there is a dark side and then there is light. Light is conceptual and brilliant, but darkness is also necessary. I see you underworld, but I choose the light.
Just a Doll
Roses make me blue,
But so do you,
Wintertime then spring,
The birds will sing,
A zesty switch,
No time to get hitched'
But the earth is ripe,
With pure delight,
Bold like brass,
Bottle green glass,