Well, that's it really, that is all I wanted to say, "I'm not a monster." I was a single parent for 10 years of my life and it was difficult and tiring. There were days when I wanted to tear out my hair, days where I felt doused in despair. Practically living in poverty and poor, days where I couldn't take anymore. Days where I was cross and angry, and then there were days where I lifted myself up, high above the clouds.
I realised I deserved a pat on the back for all of the hard work I did by myself. You might think I'm a monster but really I'm not. I'm stronger and tougher because I've been through the rounds. I've been played like a record on a merry-go round. I believed with my heart that one day things would change. Then I stood and cried in the pouring rain, when you'd used me up and decided you had bigger fish to catch.
I don't deserve those awful looks like I'm trash, I'm a single parent and I'm trying my best. So gather up your opinions and shove them up your arse. Maybe one day you'll feel this fate. I genuinely wish it upon you, because it's character building and then maybe one day we can drink a bottle of wine and I'll look straight at you and smile.
There’s a Monster in my Closet
Sometimes, I’m not really that glamorous,
I’m just a mum that left all the parties behind,
I’ve met many people who were really unkind,
On most days I’m totally chill, but then,
The washer breaks and I reach my fucking limit,
And then I’m totally exhausted once again,
I am ambitious, but I’m broken most mornings,
I wake up yawning, to see the dawn in and I’m freezing,
Sometimes, I wonder if life has any meaning,
But I don’t want your pity, no, not at all,
I’ve got a monster in my closet, you see,
It’s blue and green and it looks after me,
I don’t ask for your help and don’t worry I’ll cope,
I’ve been a single mother for all of my adult life,
And I trusted in people who sold me a dream,
They showed me the meaning of screaming,
Into my pillow at night, it probably gave my kids,
A terrible fright, I don’t ask for much,
Just simply understand, I was much better off
Without that damn man, he yelled and shouted,
Then he’d punch the walls and at the front door,
While telling me I didn’t deserve him anymore,
Sometimes he’d get lost for days, that’s when
The monster in my closet would come out to play,
I might just be a single parent who doesn’t have much,
But I’m proud that I’ve done what I can with minimal help,
I’ve faced lots of judgements, not all of them fair,
I’ve been slapped in the face more times than I can say,
And I’ve learned to never rely on others,
They just let you down, I’m tougher than you,
Haven’t you worked that one out yet?
Or is it the monster in my closet? He’s raring to go,
Maybe he scares you and that’s why you judge?
One day, I might meet someone who understands,
Who changes my mind and shows me that,
There are people out there who are still really kind,
The kindness you’ve shown me won’t be forgotten,
A single mother will never forget that feeling,
I might not be everybody’s cup of tea,
But that doesn’t give you the right to judge me.