I should take my own advice. I'm getting sick of repetition. I'm not sure how many times I have to learn the same lessons in this life. Valentine's day was a massacre of red roses. My birthday was an ambitious disaster. Oh Pluto, can you not just take it a little easier on me? The destruction that your bass line brings, is already dismantling my reality, and I find myself asking internally whether I am strong enough to do this? Has my latest spiritual awakening taken away my bliss in this life? Maybe understanding less, is a luxury...
A trip to Amsterdam for my birthday left me hungry for more. While my soul was temporarily satisfied, it left me only aching. It brought me more questions than answers. What if I'd stayed in Holland instead of moving to England when I did? That very question burning brightly in my mind's eye. It seems so obvious to me now, that I am whole heartedly dissatisfied with my life in the present. But why? Why does my soul constantly ache?
What is my purpose? This constant search for more is dangerous. Unattended in Amsterdam I found myself happy at first. Amsterdam is one of those places that evolves every time you visit it. I don't know if it's the constant flow of people or psychedelics, or the energy of the place, but I think it's a city that's alive. They say that all streets lead to the heart. I would surmise that Amsterdam are the lungs of the Netherlands. Once you've visited a few times, you start to get that the streets breathe.
So there I was trying to piece everything together and cling to the fact that my birthday was somehow totally irrelevant in the grand scheme of things and like a magnet, I found trouble. I stood there trying to decide which direction to go in, I was sucking a red cannabis lollipop in the hope it might make me feel happier. My phone had two percent battery so I didn't bother with a map. This guy comes out of nowhere and asks to buy me a coffee. So I hesitate and then reluctantly accept, I think fuck it, there's nothing else to do.
He sits down outside with me although he complains about being freezing the whole time. I don't know why but the sadistic side of me finds this amusing. I take one of his cigarettes, then I ask why he has two phones on the table? I know he's a little off, way to forward and clearly does this a lot. The alarm bells are ringing, but I continue anyway, He asks how much longer I have in the city, so I'm honest and say a few hours. He offers to drive me round the city. I think about it. It's tempting, but I know I'll end up staying if I go with him. I also know he's expecting something in return. He tells me he's a private driver, I don't bother asking for who.
Then he buys me a beer from the shop. The strong coffee is making me shake at this point and I know that I need to curb it with alcohol, so I ask for one and he buys one. Then he gets in the car asks for my number and drives off. I'm stood there kind of amused. I like the randomness of it all, but I decide, judging by my past decisions that this will not end well. So I take it as a chance to escape, and a win on the free beer and decide to explore Amsterdam instead. Then the rain really starts to pour. Luckily my phone dies, so I miss the 100 missed calls I get from crazy guy.
I was just in one of those situations that my whole body told me to escape again, which I did, eventually, but why must I flirt with danger first? Why do I ignore the unequivocal signs that the universe sends me. I contemplate solo travel. It would be fun, but too fucking dangerous.
It would have been so easy, I could have stayed in Amsterdam. My soul felt temporarily satisfied with danger, but instead I orbited back to my reality, the one that I was used to. It began to rain even more, so I decided to quell my thirst in a bar. I don't know why I picked that bar, but I did. It was small with a navy blue front. It just had an aura to it that I was attracted to I guess.
I walked up to the door, I was planning to drown my sorrows. A spiced rum maybe, something with smoky and complex flavours. Something neat and raw to mirror my inner turmoil. I paused at the glass in the door, my breath making a mist in front of me. peering through it, and who was at the bar? My Pluto.
He was sat there, telling his life story to the barmaid. I hesitated. Out of the whole of Amsterdam, I picked this place, and there he was. It just happened to be my Pluto. The guy who destroys everything in my life but the one I am bound to with some kind of deep psychic connection. So I went and sat with him, naturally. I ordered a shot of Hennessey. Actually, I had a few...
The barmaid told me she'd said I would walk in, and that she's always been a witch. I relax instantly. The bar is tiny, but it's cute. The barmaid tells me it's the oldest bar in Amsterdam, and for a few hours, in that alternate reality, I find some comfort. I find some kind of solace that when I'm with Pluto things are just better. Maybe I should stop resisting the powerful orbit of Pluto...
On the 24th of February we have a full moon in Virgo. The moon cycle that started as a new moon in Virgo in September 2023 will becoming to fruition. So basically what you manifested in September 2023 will be showing up under the lunar glow of the moon this Friday. I was on a film set of a TV show in Italy, looking for my dream home in the Abruzzo region of Italy last September, so who knows? Maybe my episode will air on the TV?
The deeper I get into astrology the more complex it seems to become. For example, each lunar cycle lasts six months. So when you manifest new on a new moon, expect it take six months to manifest. So the phrase be careful what you wish for springs to mind. I hope you enjoyed my travel musings the best lessons I learn in life are from seeing new places. They always bring me back to astrology. Next week I'm visiting Malta which I am so excited about. I'm hoping to find inspiration there so I can continue writing.
I found it difficult to dedicate myself to writing during this moon cycle. Obsessed with loftier heights, I found the patience to actually sit down and write has evaded me. I go through phases like this. I start to crave adventure instead of the comfort of my own home. If you would like to support my writing you can email me on: sophie@mysticmusings.co.uk
So what does this full moon in Virgo mean for you? Virgo teaches us to heal. In order to discover and honour your talents, you must first heal your inner thoughts, trauma and conflict. We must let go of the idea of perfection. We simply cannot know all the answers. That would spoil the journey. Instead this moon teaches us to release the need to be perfect and to know it all.
You may feel powerful when you control many things, but really if you try to control everything, you don't control anything. Instead you must silence the chaos of life and listen to your intuition. That is what truly matters. The messy and the chaotic world, is a beautiful one to explore, like a blank canvas, you hold the brush.
Do not fight the currents from the planetary changes. The cosmos floods us with energy, and it would be wise not to resist it. The natural order of things will always play out, so be less concerned with control. Allow yourself to sit in the uncomfortable and feel what you need to. The vibrations of anger, resentment or bitterness are still emotions that deserve a voice, but do not dwell in the darkness for too long. Learn to heal and let go so that you can rise.
Finding the rhythm of life, or cruising in the jet stream, is more important than being perfect and fighting the current. It is Pisces season after all. That is a lesson I am still learning...
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