Motherhood and the Eternal Sands

How I’ve missed the warm sunshine and the cold waves licking at my toes. I woke up filled with a heavy kind of fog that surrounded and engulfed me this morning, a heavy feeling that I just couldn’t shake. I remembered a cold day in January. I wanted to be hopeful for the year ahead, I really did, but little did I know that my path was fated for change.

I kept thinking "this year will be wonderful." Instead, my life turned upside down. Spiritual awakenings are often like that. They don't just happen over night, they take time. 

My daughter awoke from a deep sleep this morning, it's the summertime and her little bouncy curls were catching the light, shining through the window so vividly as she woke up. It's times like that, that I am reminded of the seasons. I am not in that cold day in January any more. So we got up and then headed down to the beach. I wanted to feel the eternal sands. 

The ripples I captured in the water with my camera were like fractal patterns carved into the icy crisp waves. Natures beautiful like that. 

My daughters angelic white dress and tiny little toes left footprints in the sand. It was early in the morning so the beach was empty and peaceful. She had boundless amounts of space and the energy to match it.

Her happiness was contagious I must admit. Some children have that ability, they are not shrouded in darkness. and I soon couldn’t help but smile. I started to shake off that fog that had surrounded me this morning.

I love looking at footprints on the sand. They remind me that you can still leave an imprint on this world. They could be washed away quickly, but you can’t help but leave your mark there. It is like the earth acknowledging your presence.

That footprint could last for a while. Either way, what was clear to me at that very moment, everything is temporary. Eventually, we will all be washed away by nature and the slate will be clean once more. I happen to believe in past lives, but our psychical presence, that is temporary.

Every state of being and our emotions, every memory, every moment, none of it ever lasts, does it? We should enjoy every last breath, and acknowledge every moment of our existence. Who knows what will happen in the future? Who really cares? The inevitability of it all is both terrifying and soothing.

So then, what imprint will you leave on this world? A kind one? You only get one, so choose wisely.

Enjoy each moment and enjoy what you have right now, at this point in time, take a deep breath in, because that is where you are. Right now at this very moment, you are further than you have ever been before. You are your wisest and bravest self.

So I am reflecting on these thoughts today. I can't always understand the universe and while that cold day in January haunts me I am still grateful for all that I have and a chance to experience all that there is. Not every life that is brought into this universe survives, you know? That's just life. I think for a good majority of my life I became desensitised to my existence, but now I'm awake. The eternal sands are a lot like the human existence, a part of the world, but only like a grain of sand.